RPL president Aleksandr Alaev has set a target: raise average league attendance from 14,200 to 18,000 by 2030. The ambition is to break into Europe's top ten!

A serious task. Unfortunately, nobody explained exactly how it is supposed to be achieved. Presumably there is a plan. There is one, right? So BBSH has prepared a comprehensive programme tailored to Russian realities. Free of charge, by the way. It can go straight out for approval.

1. Scrap Fan ID

We understand: a radical proposal. But what if simply allowing people to go to football without any special documents actually works? They manage it at hockey and volleyball. Concerts draw 10,000 or 20,000 people too.

2. Appoint those responsible

If the target is missed, blame the supporters. The league spent four years trying, and they still didn't come.

3. Make football attendance compulsory for public-sector workers

Give every institution a quota. Miss the match — write an explanatory note to the director. Teachers should receive their tickets together with the class register.

4. Hold a poll through Gosuslugi

Question: "Did you attend an RPL match?"

✅ Yes.

✅ Of course.

✅ With the whole family.

5. Launch a national project, "Football in Every Home"

Create a federal headquarters, 16 regional commissions and a working group to develop the roadmap for the roadmap. Ensure attendance of 18,000 at the meetings.

6. Make property developers include season tickets with new flats

Buy a studio or one-bedroom flat — get two tickets for Akron v Orenburg. A two- or three-bedroom place gets you into the heated section. Refusing the tickets increases the flat price by 15%.

7. Bring in schoolchildren

A minimum of three matches per term for every class. Skip football — fail PE. Make an essay titled "How I Spent My Sunday in Khimki" compulsory.

8. Introduce a tax deduction for stadium attendance

Spend 500 roubles on a ticket — claim 65 back. To apply you will need six certificates, an electronic signature and a personal visit to the tax office. Public hours: Tuesdays, 10:00 to 10:15.

9. Move matches to convenient kick-off times

Create a commission that, by 2030, will establish why a Thursday match at 20:45 is inconvenient for supporters. Following the meeting, move it to 21:45.

10. Create an "Attendance of the Year" award

Reward governors in regions where crowds have grown. Where they haven't, reward them for creating favourable conditions for future growth.

11. Introduce football maternity capital

First child — a scarf. Second — a season ticket. Third — the right to choose the kick-off time.

12. Introduce a tourist tax for not going to the stadium

Any citizen who happens to be in a tourist city hosting a match and does not attend it is deemed a domestic football tourist without a ticket. And pays a fine.

13. Import-substitute European attendance

If 18,000 spectators, like in Europe, proves unattainable, develop a domestic equivalent of 12,000. On paper it fully meets the European standard. Taking climate conditions into account, it may even surpass it.

14. Create a single register of potential supporters

Put every Russian citizen on it. Anyone who objects can apply in person to be removed, stating the reasons for their lack of love for domestic football.

15. Declare 2030 the Year of the Supporter

Open it ceremonially with an organising-committee meeting. Invite 18,000 officials. Record record-breaking attendance at the event.

16. Classify attendance figures

To prevent statistics having a negative effect on the population's emotional wellbeing. Publish the numbers only when targets have been exceeded.

17. If it does not work, move 2030 to 2035

At the request of the working population and in view of the project's high social importance.

BBSH is confident: with such a comprehensive approach, 18,000 spectators by 2030 is an entirely realistic target.

The main thing is not to let actual supporters anywhere near the programme. Otherwise they might start suggesting cheaper tickets, decent food, sensible kick-off times and the abolition of Fan ID.

And then the whole strategy would have to be rewritten. 😁

All right, just in case: this is all a joke. Don't take it too seriously, friends. I believe in our league, I go to matches, and I do my best to drag friends to the stadium whenever I can.